Learning to Accept Our Emotions as They Are

Just as we learned how to relate to or deny our emotions as kids,

we can learn a healthier way of accepting and relating to them now.

We no longer need to be alone with - nor afraid of - our feelings.

We get sicker in isolation.  We heal in community. 

It’s OK to ask for help.

A Common Myth about Emotions: “If I allow myself to feel what I feel, I’ll be overwhelmed by and drown in the feelings. I won’t be able to stop them once I allow myself to feel them."

Where that Myth Comes From

The attitude we take to our feelings and emotions is learned in early childhood according to how our families, culture and others reacted to our feelings and their own. 

• Were our feelings good, honored and acceptable?  Did someone comfort us when we needed it? 

• Were our feelings considered bad and should be denied? Did others get mad at us for having them? Did they turn away from us? Did they pretend we weren’t feeling them or discount their importance?

Result: The stress and fear of denying our feelings/emotions when we were children builds within us as pressure, tightness, tension and causes us to resist allowing ourself to feel them as an adult.  We feel ashamed for having them.

Question: What do you believe about your feelings?  How have you learned to deal with them? 

The Truth about Emotions and Feeling States

There are NO bad feelings. Our learned reaction to them causes the problems.    

Emotional states are temporary and ever-changing.  They appear and disappear within the body when we allow ourselves to feel them fully and breathe through them.

When we resist accepting and breathing through our feelings, the unprocessed emotional energy shows up as anxiety, depression, panic attacks, sleep disturbance, somatic illness, physical acting out, suicidal thoughts, difficulty concentrating and other unhealthy mental and physical reactions.